Have you ever wondered what you'd have to do to a Hummer
H2 in order to make it worth $300,000? Apparently, this.
Yes, that's right: This is a 2009 Hummer H2
currently listed on Autotrader with an asking price of $295,000.
It's not the miles that make it worth so much, although they're impressive --
just 3,460 from new. It's also not the condition, though that's pretty
impressive, too. No, it's the fact that this H2 is completely armored.
According to the listing -- this H2 is offered by a
private seller in, unsurprisingly, Florida -- modifications include
quarter-inch steel plating designed to cover AK-47 rounds. There's also an
armored battery, an armored radiator box and a bullet-resistant fuel-tank
cover, along with run-flat tires, reinforced pillars, a public-address system
and siren and armored door seams. But none of these items are my favorite piece
of protection.
That honor can be found in back, as this H2 features --
this is completely true -- 2-by-2 bench seats in back that are designed,
according to the listing, "for agents." It also includes a
"stowaway logistics table," and the single best thing of all: gun
ports on each side, plus one in the rear. In other words, this H2 isn't just
armored: If you have agents riding in back and enjoying their stowaway
logistics table, they can actually return fire against enemies.
The ad also says this H2 took nearly 3 months to fully
armor, and it's being sold by a military veteran who's downsizing his security
services company. I have to admit, it's kind of cool. It's also probably
overkill. But regardless of your opinion, one thing is for certain: There are
probably some great stories in those 3,460 miles.